Thursday, August 30, 2007

The deal...

The deal...
I am normally not much of a betting man, but for some reason i felt like i needed to strike a deal with my coworker on the showdown this weekend. The deal is 10 bucks and face painting. Loser will be 10 poorer and will need to sport the winnings team on their face for one day at work.

Damnit baby hawk (and fatty hawk) better be worth all the hype.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The shoes, keg mini, and other tales...

The shoes, keg mini, and other tales...

So the weekend was pretty crazy and long. One of the better ones that i remember (or dont) you know what i mean... Anyway started off sat after dinner for a viewing of a british show "The IT Crowd". This show is where "the shoes" comes from in the first pic.... basically just and inside joke... basically women like new shoes.
Anyway... Pre-show i bought a mini keg of heineken and some harp. From what i remember IT crowd was really funy, but i dont really remmeber too many specifics about what the show was about. Anyway me and SI killed the keg (its like 14-18 long necks). Then the shots were broken out... trouble follows. I remember dropping someone on their head, calling someone, passing out, waking up and throwing up, then waking up to get rdy for work.

A good investment of 20 bucks

Oh yeah i remember a lot of drunken IM'ing and ripping on peoples moms...

Above is the sunday night drinking crew. Me and the work boys decided to get to gether rock out with some video games and in general drink it up. I had brought a spare heineken keg the day before (tho i hardly felt like drinking it anymore) best sunday of drinking ever.

We played wii as a drinking game after we all got a few drinks in. The loser had to take tequila shots with drops of daves insanity sauce, which if you are unfamiliar is some really hot shit. After the hard liquor was gone somehow we came up with the bright idea of wine shots with daves insanity... fawwwk. Pretty nasty. We kinda got bored with sports, but wii wanted to drunk. So we left on a mission to get another game with mini games. A quick walk to blockbuster and boom we have a game... on the way back dt decides that we should get shots at some dive bar that has huuuge shots. basically when you ask for a shot be prepared for a cup 1/2 full of alcohol (about a tripple shot).

We plow through two rounds of these mega drinks (of course i shot them not sipped them like a sissy man). We get back and kinda hang on the back porch. MM is passing out and does so on some crappy lawn chair out there. Dt goes and wrangles MM and decides he's about done too...

But the ko man is still game... prob even more game cuz im at that perfect level where you think you're like a fuckin god. I start calling a few random people/texting peole. Success! found someone who wants to hang AND he lives like 7 blocks away. I start running that way and he picks me up on his scooter. We grab some food for me since im gettin the munchies. We go meet his GF and she doesnt want to hang cuz shes tired. AM wants to sleep with his woman... hmm where the f is scotty gonna go?. I try calling dt... passed out like log. mm... might as well try and contact the dead. So AM drives me back to his place and i crash alone @ his place.

Next morning... im thirsty as fuck and drink like 5 cups of water in 30 seconds. Happy to say im not hung over! But now i gotta work.. yipes... had been in the same tired shirt and same tired shorts since sat night.. no shower.. left my toothbrush at dt's... nasty.

all in all a good weekend.. and we never played the game we rented.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

And so it begins...

And so it begins... I have been slackin like all you normal lazy punks with the workin out. After nationals i have been pretty damn lazy, but its time for this cowboy to get back on the wagon of pain. 2 weeks of constant soreness here i come! I think this decision comes from finding myself sore after playing Wii for a while and being sore the next day. More on that later... I think i need a real comp to write about this past weekend.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Sometimes its best not to remember...

Sometimes its best not to remember...
So i normally dont remember my dreams, which is kinda strange, but whatever.
Anyway yesterday night i remembered my token dream, the one that lets me know that i occasionally do hit deep sleep.
Anyway it was pretty crazy. Imagine this. You're at a party and the details around the whole scenario are kinda lost, but your friend is shot and killed by you in some accident... You're booked on murder charges.
You go to court and are found guilty in a trial you dont think was fair. Anyway the rest of the dream centers on me being taken (almost paraded around) to this like 10 floor facility, with only escalators, so i can be put down. And a group of my true friends desperately trying to get a pardon.
The strange thing about it was that i felt really angry that i was about to be killed for something i didnt do, but i was amazingly ok with the dying part... No tears, no outcrys, no dramatic attempt to escape. Just smiles and lots of death jokes.
Anyway i woke up in kind of a panic and it ended up i woke up a bit late as well.
Welcome to the world inside my world... And please dont put me on like suicide watch or something... I know my last two posts are kinda odd :). Something happy next time i swear... Prob lots of talk about how trashed i was all weekend based on the looks of how things might be playing out.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Fresh Start...

Just as a warning... this is prob gonna be long and boring. You can prob skip everything below and just read the last paragraph or so.

Life started out simple enough.. running around playing with kids from the hood. Relatively well adjusted. Goals were simple... 1. Have fun 2. Dont piss off mom and dad 3. Annoy KK (which ended up conflicting with goal #2 often times, but that was acceptable).

As most things in life change happened. Elementary school was over and middle school happened. Things got a bit more complex. There was a bit more pressure from above to succeed academically and with music. Friends changed... went from being with the popular kids (yes i wasnt always such a nerd haha) to being middle of the road.

Then come high school and of course as is inevitable more change. Even more pressure to step up the academics i think a little more pressure on the music. Then add in all the other growing up stuff... women, fashion, misc teen drama, the want to impress other people.. you know normal stuff (or at least what i think is normal).

As is pretty common at this stage in life your goals start to diverge from those of your parents. I still saw some of the things in a similar way with my parents, but more and more I wanted to do my own things and have my own goals. I think it was at this point i really started to kind of just kind of stuck to the saying "the nail that sticks out gets hammered". Just try to do the minimum to get by w/o getting hassled by the man.

It was at this juncture that i think something inside me kind of gave up. I no longer really had any goals or direction in life other then to just follow the path i felt like people expected me to follow and do as little as i could to get there. This was a pretty un-fulfilling life style, but i was always to squeeze out a smile and a "good" when asked how things are.

I think this is also when i started to get super competitive in things like sports.. like to the point of getting completely infuriated with anything i considered failure. Unfortunately this didnt transfer to things like getting good grades, or going to classes... especially orchestra, which i was basically completely uninterested in at this point.

Then came the zoned out years of college. I dont think i really had an ambition in the world this whole time except to make it out alive. Having "fun" increasingly involved me not remembering nights of my life. In fact i dont remember too many good times that i want soon trashed out of my mind. I didnt make much effort to meet new people or have new experiences. Just accepted living at home and zombie walking my way through life. I think i really shut myself off to the world in many ways. I spent most of my time in my room or working. Kind of just shoved all my emotions good or bad somewhere deep inside.

My "fun" habits landed me in a bit a of trouble and prob sunk me into one of the strangest periods in my life. The DUI era was pretty depressing and in general it sucked hardcore. I dont think i was ever really honest with myself on the reasons surrounding the whole circumstance. But i think a lot of the reasons should kinda be showing up through my tale.

All this stuff kinda culminated with me runnin off to vegas with some girl that really wasnt right for me, but i convinced myself she was because honestly i liked the feeling that i got when i was with her. I think i felt oddly validated by the whole situation and i think somewhere inside i liked that it went against my parents.

Having this whole deal happen before grad sucked, but hey goal met! I made it out of college alive!

After graduating I convinced myself that I needed to move away (run away) to live the life i wanted to live, which as i see things now is a completely invalid path of logic. After months of basically only searching out of state I realized that I prob should get a job in general. So i sucked it up once again and looked for a job in colorado, which yielded results almost immediately.. interviews within weeks and a job offer after about a month.

At this point i dunno why i kept living at home. I think its because it was easy and it kept me away from conflict and I had gotten used to the life style. I filled the empty parts of my life with the rec center. It started with just every now and then.. now its a lifestyle. I'm prob there more then people that actually work there. I like to joke about living with the rents causing me to be so fit, but its the honest to god truth. The culmination of this obsession is prob now with me swimming MWF mornings AND lifting MWF nights. Often on tues or thurs i would go to the rec and run or ball or swim. Not that i dont enjoy it... i just dont know if it would have naturally gotten to this point or not.

I feel like im prob the most lost now then i've ever been in my life. After kinda floating my way through life for so long when i think bout it now i'm at a strange stage. I'm 24 living at home, which isnt TOO abnormal, but a little bit. Mentally I think I have the mentality of like a freshman in college, while socially i need to handle situations with people who mentally are like 10+ years older then me. Money, kids, careers... none of this resonates with me... at all. Socially i find it hard to fit in.. dunno if its because i am unconfident of myself or because i dont really relate with people of my age or something else. Women... you know the story there. Financially... basically i have loads (for now) and plenty of material goods that bought me happiness briefly.

The reason I am writing this is part of my new effort to change things about myself. I think i need to open myself up emotionally. So here it is... the feelings of inadequacy i've experienced over the years putting it wayy out there, which actually makes me quite uncomfortable as i write.

I also need to take responsibility for the way things have worked out. My old excuse was to pass the buck. None of the horrible things in my life were my fault. I liked to put the blame somehow on my parents, which really isnt fair. Tho they might have done things that could potentially have held me back its my ultimate responsibility to react in a positive way... instead of in the weak way.

I think that grad school can be a fresh start for me and im sick of sitting back nd watching life go by. New people, new situations, new chance to grow up... I guess we'll see what materializes, but im looking forward to seeing what transpires and pushing myself out of my comfort zone whenever possible/as needed. Oh yeah congrats for making it through the most typing you'll prob ever see from me unless im writing some big paper thats worth 50% of my grade.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The robots will win because we're too da

The robots will win because we're too damn lazy...

Hear my warnings great people of earth. We are becoming way too lazy...

Proof of the end. We would rather drive around a close parking lot for 20 min trying desperatly to stalk a pedestrian then to park 50 yards away.
We now cant carry back packs on our backs... We must now roll them around no matter how stupid we look.

We cant even make our own god damn coffee! We must pay like twice as much to buy some that is made for us...

We cant even sit in a seat on the bus! We must lay down on a busy bus so that no one can sit down! Ok not the most common, but someone is currently doing so and thats annoying.
Not only will the robots beat us... We will all take naps while they take over... Cuz it would be a little inconvenient for up to fight for our freedem.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

150 dollars later.

150 dollars later.
F it is HOT in tx! If there was ever any doubt... Heat index of like 110 everyday. I dont think i stopped sweatin the world time i was there. Ridic.

Anyway the swimming was just ok. I did buy my fancy suit there... Buff colors! However no suit is proper replacement for actual training.
My 50s were pretty good. Finally hit a converted 22 for my free! But just was too much of a <> for the 100s i guess. I basically took then out at comfortable paces (which were faster then ever) but on the way back i would feel like death. I honestly thought i was going to sink to the bottom in the 100 fly! 100 free i was with some dude on a national team... Then had a HUGE fade to like 6th.
O well... I met some cool new colorado peeps and hung out with some cali kids on the last night.Overall the trip prob was not worth the like 700 it will end up costing, but i do feel like i am going to be a beast once i get the proper training base under me.
As i kind of decided to motivate myself i did email the coach of the university team to see if i would be of any use to them. I kind of made a mental pact that if i hit 22 i would atleast try to get on the university team... Rather then being on the masters team. So we will see what happens.
Fawk i start school in like two weeks! Total madness! We're all gonna need to in get trashed one last time b4 then.

Alex is comin in oct! Prepare for the rock big boy... Its gonna be a night to man up! I got the first round of car bombs covered AF guy. And in typical sko fashion . Didnt really take any pictures at all lol.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Random musing...

Random musing...
I just landed to tx and am waiting for the shuttle to my hotel. So why not write?
Never have i ever...
Had a hot nurse
Had a hot flight attendant
Understood why people bomb out of the plane since we all meet to wait by baggage claim anyway.
Worn a cowboy hat and not felt like a jackass.
So this weekend should be exciting. I am hoping i swim some bomb times and have fun doing it.
The great adventure tomorrow will be buying a suit... One of my dreams has always been to try one of those fancy suits the olympic swimmers wear. If all goes right hip to ankle should be covered in the finest technology speedo or arena has to offer... No worries tho i will still be shaving the legs... Its a tradition.

Well i am off! Shuttle is here.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Does this look infected?

Does this look infected?