Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Lost for words...

Lost for words...
People have created situations where social interactions are weird. Here are some that i like.
The elevator... Which is worse? Standing in silence for 15 seconds or telling some dumb joke to ease the silence? It feels so worthless to even start a conversation when the end is coming in a few seconds?
Next situation is seeing the same person in the hallway 15 times a day. It always starts with a friendly hello and usually a little small talk. Then it morphs into waves or nods of acknowledgement maybe a clever joke or two. Eventually you're as sick of seeing them as they are of you.
My fav is still prob the strip club. What exactly do you say to a person who is gyrating on your junk? Do they prefer to converse? Im sure just like any job they get bored. Well i guess you are paying them so you can do whatever you want.
Thats a small sample of these situations. Other favs i did not elaborate on... Getting hit on by a member of the same sex, having lunch with someone you hate, but they think you're good friends, what to say to a person after you just rear ended them.

Monday, August 14, 2006

For eons and eons...

For eons and eons...
For billions of years different creatures from similar humble beginings have formed. This is my theory on one such evolution. This is the story of the snake and the worm.
So millions of years ago there were only worms (contrary to the teachings of the bible). All the worms went to worm slime school (same as modern day high school). And as with any large group, they formed social groups. The jocks, the brainiacs, the stoners, the hicks, and the average jo's. Since a worms life is so short it was impossible to make a clique jump... So they mostly mated within their respective group.
After generations soon not all worms were created in the image of the worm god 'wormy'. The jocks became larger and stronger, eventually turning into snakes like barracudas and water snakes.
The hicks turned into experts in the farm so became gardner snakes.
The stoners genetically mutated into crazy snakes like cobras.
Even the nerd worms evolved. They became the talking snakes popularized by the cartoon industry. F'in sellouts.
You may now ask... If all the worms evolved then why are there still worms around? The unmentioned worms in the story were the pussy worms. They feared change, feared sticking out in the crowd, always at the party never brought the party.
These sad worms became the modern day worms.
There is no agenda or moral to the story. Just bored as hell on the bus.