Saturday, April 22, 2006

Money, Cops, Jail, Keys, Vomit - Just a Normal Friday

Ohhhhh my... Lastnight was beyond belief... Prob the craziest night in memory... kinda in a good way since everything ended up ok, but as the title indicates lasntight included cold hard cash, Cops, Jail, Broken Keys, and some good old praying to the porcelin gods :)... prob the bext part is nothing really bad happened to me... yay for staying sober! :). Anyway now that i hopefully have your attention I will go on with the story i wouldnt attpempt to t9 and that i couldnt wait to tell.

So yesterday morning I woke up and went for my usual friday morning swim. Afterwords i met up with the DS to play a little basketball. We decided that we were going to go to Dave and Busters later that night. After ball we met up with some other laf lifeguards and found out that there was going to be an event to get a certian minor drunk tonight for the first time we'll call this minor A Ho. So we agreed that thats what we would do.

The day went on... i studied for my impending GMAT. Watched some Miss USA with mama. Then I rolled out to an evening that i thought would be pretty low key and kind of "lame".

I picked up DS and went to Emily's appt, stopping off to buy a bottle of hypnotic and a 24 case of Bud Light. We got there and as I expected a pretty low key party and kind of lame. We were all just chillin in the kitchen (i have kitchen theory maybe i will write about it someday). There were 8 of us and most of us were trying to get A Ho drunk since thats what she wanted. So she took a shot of hypnotic then moved onto the bud... she didnt like the bud... she wanted something a little more fruity. So me being the nice guy I am told her i would drive my ass to a store and buy something a little more "womany". So i took off... This is where the action starts...

I went to the nearest liq store and got a 6 pack of Smirnoff Green Apple malt stuff and a little bottle of peach puckers. I felt like a fruit buying it, but o well.. for a good cause. So i drive back to Em's appt and when i get there there are 2 cop cars out front. For a split second, the thought that "my" party has been busted and i should run for the hills before i get a serving to minors ticket, crosses my mind, but then i think what are "the chances"? so i grab my liquor and head into the building. As i enter the commons for the building A cop stops and asks me if i'm going to appt 308... I didnt know em's appt number, but i did know that it was on the 4th floor... so without hesitation I say "this building doesnt look familiar... i think i'm in the wrong building... sorry" and just turn the f' around and go right back into my car and put the liquor out of sight.

I call the DS.. but of course i hear a buzz in my car (the chances)... she left her phone in my car... shit.. "wtf do i do now?". So i call Em's phone the DS answers and tells me that the cops are there and she needs her ID (which of course is in my car) I tell her theres no way in hell i'm going back up there... she kind of freaks out on the phone.. so i tell her that i'll take her ID to her. So once again I make the walk to the appt, sans liquor this time, and i just walk right by the cops saying im giving someone their ID.

Luckily by the grace of god the 5-0 doesnt hand out any MIP's or serving to minors or even any tickets at all. They ID'd A Ho, but thankfully she wasnt really drunk at all.. so they didnt really have a case. The funny thing i guess is that while i was not there she walked right by the cops waved and said "hi" then plopped her ass on the couch in front of the door.... rookies.... jeez.

Another odd coincidence is that one of the officers on the scene was officer "peach" who pulled me over for my "traffic offence" and also pulled DS over for her "offence" (the night is filled with odd things like this).. the chances.

Anyway a few min later they arrested Em.. because of failure to appear in court (for a "traffic offence"). The worst part about the whole situation is that she DID go to court on monday and actually was complaining about it earlier that night. Anyway they booked her since they couldnt get a hold of anyone to confirm this appearence... the chances. They said bail would be $500. Holy shit! $500!!!! Anyway being the most sober and responseible i guess... when they said they were gonna book her i ran to the door to find out where she'd be and how much bail was and stuff. Before she left Em looks me in the eyes and says "Please dont let me spend a night in jail". And of course being the good guy i am i vow that she will be released tonight.

The cops tell us to keep it down and they leave with Em. So all the lifeguards get together and plan to all pitch in to bail our fallen comrade out of the slammer. All 4 of us agree that we will go to the bank and pull money. I said we should all take 1 car, but DS for some reason over-rides my decision and says we should take 2 cars. I dont feel like arguing about it.. so we roll out in my car and leave 2 girls behind.... half way to the nearest bank we get a call... The other car (we'll call the other driver "TD") TD's key snapped off in her door... "fuck!" the chances ("the chances" count = 5 btw). We go back and pick the girls up and go to the bank. We all pull out between 100-160 bucks and pull together $500 bucks. Woot! (note the picture)

We agree the minors would stay behind in Em's appt and DS and I would go bail Em out. We drive down to the facility where Em's at and the guard tells us the fee is actually $510! fuck!... We tell the officer we'll be back and we scour the car. We end up with $507 cash... i look at my change pile... 70 cents and a handfull of pennies... for somewhere in the $508's... I had just spent like 4 bucks in quarters at a meter in denver (see the parking nazi post) AND left 2 bucks in my desk at work.. the fuckin chances!!!! (count = 6). So we drive back to an ATM, which is atleast 10-15 min away because the facility is in the middle of no where. I pull even more money out of my ATM.... which i already know had put me in the negative... since i had shuffled funds around and only left $92 bucks in my bank account the previous friday... [insert "the chances" #7].

So we get $540 bucks now and go back to bail Em out. We free Em.... YAY! DS and I agreed that we'd prob want to go home around 1ish... it was already like 1:30 at this point. lol.

Anyway so i drop the girls off at Em's and take TD and her friend to erie to get her extra key so she can retreive her car. That was fine and dandy. We all get back to em's appt and DS and A Ho are trashed.... A Ho was funny at first.. with comments like "my phone saves the outsends and the in sends" (as she sends drunked SMS's). or "the ice cube is going to melt my noodles" (about the ramen noodles she was eating.. we put an ice cube in there cuz she complained it was too hot). Then as the night went on A Ho kept going on and on... and on... and on... and on... (like the fucking energizer bunny...) about randomness and got pretty annoying. DS exploded in the toilet.

When it was all said and done I got home around 4 AM...

The moral of the story... 1) life is fucking odd... 2)when you see the "fuzz" around dont f' around.
3) perhaps my life is more interesting then i often think it is.

anyway sorry about the really long ass posting, but i hope you were somewhat entertained. I'm off to the bank now to put some f'in money in there and hope to avoid over draft fees :(.

finally why do people always hang around the kitchen at parties????


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